


Is it enough to have some love (small enough to fit inside the cracks)

by CharacteristicallyMinor



Category: The West Wing
Genre: M/M, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 11:50:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5784298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharacteristicallyMinor/pseuds/CharacteristicallyMinor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Working at the White House took over their lives; their relationship fell by the wayside.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is it enough to have some love (small enough to fit inside the cracks)

**Author's Note:**

> Title from "Astronaut" by Amanda Palmer.

Sam only got pieces of Josh. Two white house staffers could not openly be in a relationship, particularly not two male staffers. Their relationship had to be fit into little moments. It was in little glances and gestures. Occasional “work lunches” that were actually dates.

Their love was not bold and flashy like that of some of the couples Sam knew. It couldn't be. It had to be small and fragile because if it grew they would be forced to cut it down like a weed. The president was more important. Their jobs were more important. They understood that about each other.

Their relationship did not fit. It did not fit with their jobs, their lifestyles, or their ambitions. It got in the way or got pushed away.

Sam didn't remember why he worked at the White House sometimes. All he could think about was how much he wished they didn't have to hide. Where did all that passion go? Passion for each other, for their jobs, for life. It was gone, mixed into the frantic rush of work necessary to keep political devastation from coming upon the presidency every week. He still loved his job, most of the time. But it was getting harder to love. Every day, Sam lost a little faith.

But he loved watching Josh. Josh fighting Senate members, Josh joking about big block of cheese day, Josh succeeding at his job. It made everything worth it. It didn't matter that they couldn't be together openly if it meant that Sam got to watch Josh be brilliant. For that, Sam would be content to only get little pieces of Josh’s life.

Sometimes, it felt like all their frantic work at the white house was for nothing. They weren't making a difference or doing any good. Soon enough, they would all be forgotten. Even the president would become just another name in the history books, just another list item for schoolchildren to memorize.

It was getting harder to care about staying in the closet, despite their high-ranking political positions. They had fought for so long to get to these positions, and it seemed like they had achieved nothing.

Most days, though, Sam would be willing to tell the most outrageous lies about them if it meant that they got to continue working. Seeing Josh victorious was worth anything. So Sam lied and lied about dating women. The newspaper piranhas were only happy with a scandal, so he gave them a prostitute. Anything to keep them away from the real secret.

Sam and Josh's lives could come crumbling down around their feet at any moment. It would take just one incautious word, one slightly indiscreet glance, one newspaper reporter or even casual passerby seeing one of them leave the wrong apartment at the wrong time. It was worth it, though. They made each other better. They made each other’s life feel like it was more worth living. The chance to love each other and make each other feel more complete was worth the risks and all the effort spent hiding.


End file.
